I see people in 17 and a half years have already had 10 different guys, changed 15 friends, traveled to America, Croatia, Greece, England, Thailand, Germany, who have known hundreds of people tried thousands of different sensations, different perfumes heard ...
E 'question of lives. Different lives.
I chose mine. I chose me, who can criticize it ...?
Yet, strangely, we let ourselves be influenced by opinion, we love to deal with, feel right or wrong depending on what we see others do or what we are served up from the outside world ...
I dreamed of 12 years Japan. China. Korea. America.
At 12 I took the suitcase and I would go around the world ... I wanted it so much.
But I could not.
And since I could not have chosen a horrible way to meet this desire for themselves that I was forced to stay, deal with life.
I chose the 'A noressia .
I chose the 'A noressia .
She has devoured. I have changed. Ate my fat and my body almost pushing me to death ... but my dream is. Persisted. In a body that was finally mine. But who knows ... maybe I dreamed of traveling once dead.
Maybe I was hoping to really die ... so I could make my dreams.
Nothing to be done. As fate would have it come back on my feet.
Those steps that I had come to hate ... but you go along is that I met Guido and could try all those feelings that have in one way or another awakened in me a new desire, new emotions ... a new large Love .
I have not lost sight of my dreams. I think not.
They are still there, hanging from the sky as the stars that remind me every time.
I only fear ... not to achieve them. Not up to. I shot back.
I'm afraid to react, the little world I created is broken ... also if it is really the thing I want most. What This Nightmare Finish .
Bulimia is not really. And 'only fear.
Fear of failure ... fear, perhaps to realize my dreams and then lose them again. What happened with Guido. We were so close in November ...
think it would be enough so that [] to fall in love with each other.
But no. He's gone. I wonder why ...? I wonder if it's gone because he was afraid to really fall in love with me ... or why ... or because they do not know. This thing I
destroyed. Really. I ocicredevo .
yet ... if it takes so little would have been all too easy.
may take time to fulfill their dreams ... my heart is crying .
"Guido Why did you leave ...? Why did you choose her ...? You do not love her. I know. ... Do not you love her and this breaks my heart ... why did you choose you just because you know you love it. You do not you love a girl ever so easily. You that night you took my hand and you supported the six core ... and this time you hold me. Softly. And from that night that our faces were so close you avoid me ...
I I would never have broken my heart. I to make you happy I would have given up on anything ... but seeing you happy with me .
But now we're lost. Five months were enough to lose sight. And therefore I've lost myself .. . losing him too. I want to give up hope.
hate it because I still have hope. 'Cause I still love, and therefore I hope.
He is not coming back ... I have loved you so much for not coming back ... it's useless.
We have different lives, yet again.
But I gave him my heart. I gave it to him ... and I think it really does not regain my back. I do not love nobody so much ...
Right now I would like to pack up and leave for my beloved China, leave it all behind ... would be so nice ... or I could take that piece of paper finished high school and then let's all really. Too.
But right now I do not know what to do really ... I do not have the courage to go back to school, deal with the others ... I'm thinking of retiring and then the fifth public school. I am a
Bankruptcy with F. capitalized.
But I love you so. Bankruptcy or not. I want to love me for my losses ... why are those who really built the true Laura.
victories deceive. But the losses are growing. Change .
And I need to change ... can not only win for "mature " at school ... I want "mature" in it, I really want to know how to say " Yes I was wrong, and yet here I am, I really want to do something that I, not that it is better according to the other .
's why I am stuck here, I can not go to school ... is the old Laura, who has chosen the easy road of "private" to avoid the hardships.
But the old Laura is dead. Is no longer part of this body.
I who I'm calling to let go of this vise and make a choice that I feel inside when I hear it ...
Yes, I want to say because I feel it.
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