" Wipe those thoughts from your head ... do Laura ...". The reason .
" No. .. now I'm back to live? Never." The heart.
After being brutally destroyed by reason, I still have a reason to trust her, and discard what is true is always lived in me ...? I could still turn into a body without a soul, for two long months ...? If I had listened to the heart, I lived ...
If I had listened to the heart, I would never slipped so far.
I think I have a certainty ... you know? In all this mess. In all this uncertainty that I felt around. Yet I can not explain the exact words ... But ... I'm not able to say ... The problem is that it confuses me. confuses me terribly.
The fact is that ... after 2 months ... 2 months ... Guido and I, we are writing ... I feel my heart beat back, to return the blood to flow in the veins, my face filled with emotion TRUE, the desire to go outside to run, to breathe ... and HE to have started a conversation, not wanting to finish, is HIM ... he is a girl ... but I think more and more that this girl with him there is going to comfortable. To not be alone. He can not love her. Not really.
I see the way he writes ... by the way he looks at me whenever we meet, He knows that I love him , me in the eyes ... He knows he was for me all, he knows that will never find a girl who loves him as much as I had never even been together ... and he knows all too well that I'd always be there for him, despite my cold words ... he always would know how to melt your heart, how to make me his, because he is my own.
He always had, I do not ever return. NEVER .
are no longer 'able to love after him ... never once ...
... And what happens? And 'as if this period full of cuts, tears, pain, sadness, longing for death, silence, darkness ... it is as if he had not even existed.
Because maybe there is rationality in all this. Does not exist. I know one thing.
If we now give in to pride, though now he dreams of my resignation to the nights, if we gave up quietly to love him ... ricadrei in bulimia. I know.
If we now leave me free to think, going out, to dream and love him ... I think the hope I would have. I think I could really think about returning to live .
In the end ... if this is a mistake, I have committed many mistakes in my life?
this can not be the best, fucking stupid mistake for LOVE ...?
I always listened to others tell me that he was not for me, I deserve more ... but it is not. The best that can be earned him ... because He was at the peak of my dreams.
And from now on I'll throw more 'on the ground to escape.
0 comments:
Post a Comment